So, it has been a while I know. Lots of stuff of happening. Some good, some different and some well just plain hard. But in spite of and because of all this God is revealing Himself to me even more.
I took my very 1st exam this past week for school, I had to rewrite an entire paper due to theological differences and issues. School has been a bit of a struggle but God He is revealing Himself to me in and out of school. The group I was leading called Bondage Breakers for now I have laid it down and even though I am going through a grieving process God has proven once again that He is in control and He knows what is best. This has not been easy for me but it is needed. I realized early on with school and homework and a few people that I was over my head and either I drown alone or I take everyone with me or I get us all safely to shore and seek help. I got us all safely to shore and got us help.
God is such an amazing God. I was thinking about that on the drive home last night from class. See yesterday I did not want to go to class. I wanted to stay home and just say the heck with it… It is not worth this for me and I knew loudly that the enemy was not whispering He was really clamoring loudly that I did not need to go to school… I even wrote an email or 2 saying I was not going to school. Yet, a nudging from God at 2:45 changed my mind and I went. I got an text a little before class from one person I sent an email to that i was not going and her only comment was “I love you Sandy, have a great class ” … She was the 1st to get a text after class that said “Thank you for encouraging me and I learned so much” I did learn a lot last night in class about discipleship and the Jesus model and how it isn’t about numbers but it is about relationship and that there are times we are going to blow it and it is ok because God still is in control and life well He is in control of that.
Last night, God revealed much to me and today I sit in all of all that He is revealing to me. I may not have it all together but I know God still loves me and cares about the small things in my life.
My classmates, they want me to be part of them. God put me in a class of people who really want me and are accepting of me. They want me to be with them. One has said that those who have sat next to me all along have to share me with the others and then last night I got told I need to text them and let them know I got home safely since I have to drive the farthest and class ends at 9:30, and it is over an hour drive for me to get back home (But I make it in an hour usually)…. Feeling part of and accepted is something that through life I never was. For various reasons. God is showing me that I do matter and people can be trusted. He has shown me that within my own church as well but to be shown that outside my church is a whole new experience.
God is showing me and revealing to me that He loves me through other people. I am so glad that it is never to late for the revelation of His love. He is showing me that He loves me in such simple ways and that He will be there. A few weeks ago I went to dinner with a friend and on the way home I heard this song.
It made me pull off to the side of the road and cry my eyes out. He is holding me and He is showing me how much He loves me in all kinds of ways…
I hope that you all get something out of this…