So last week on Nov. 21, I went to the doctor because of some issues that I was happy not even dealing with. So, after a weekend of crazy feelings, insane emotions, and even anger and rage, because I felt like I was desperate for the feelings to go away. So, on Monday the 25th I had not one but 2 ultrasounds done… I was expecting a my results by Wed. But because of Thanksgiving I did not get the results until I went in for the biopsy on Monday Dec.2.
So, today Dec 4th, I lay before God the fears, the disappointments, the anger, the rage, and all the stuff that for over 30 years has been all part of this thing… I literally think (or have thought) in this 1 area of my life God You made some HUGE colossal mistake and it has pretty much followed me all my life. Yet, As I learned on Sunday
New Living Translation (NLT)
A psalm of David.
1 I give you thanks, O Lord, with all my heart; I will sing your praises before the gods.
2 I bow before your holy Temple as I worship. I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness;
for your promises are backed by all the honor of your name.
3 As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength.
4 Every king in all the earth will thank you, Lord, for all of them will hear your words.
5 Yes, they will sing about the Lord’s ways, for the glory of the Lord is very great.
6 Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud.
7 Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will protect me from the anger of my enemies.
You reach out your hand, and the power of your right hand saves me.
8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.
Look at verse 2 again…. YOUR promises are backed by ALL the honor of YOUR name…
Now, lets look at the verse I found this morning..
2 Corinthians 1:20
20 For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory.
So, if God promised me health than why am I so worried about this? Well, here is why. Because despite my knowing that when I have confessed the past to my Savior, I live with my memories, and the enemy who is out there seeking to peg those he can off with the weapons that he gets to choose.
Today, for me it is important to keep focused on this one thing… HIS promises are backed by HIS honor, and when HE says YES they are fulfilled…
What an amazing revelation this is to me today.. HE said YES to me…. What should I fear? Why should I fear? Even if the yes isn’t the yes that I want but lets look at the worse case scenario… IF I should die guess what? I am transported right to the throne room of worship. I will be whole, I will be fully redeemed, I will be with my Savior singing “HOLY HOLY HOLY” and that is worse case. Best case I still will be in the throne room.
This has been an emotional 2 weeks for me. But God has walked beside me every step of the way. He was there at the beginning of this and He will see the completion of this as well.
God is so faithful to us… Thanking God for the blessings He provides… (and am thankful for His promises which are fully backed by His name)..
AS AN UPDATE: I am sorry I just realized that I did not post that the biopsy results. The biopsy reports came back negative though they will have to be repeated in 3 months… SO, I thank you for your prayers.