I will trust in You alone for You have never failed me before.

So last week on Nov. 21, I went to the doctor because of some issues that I was happy not even dealing with.  So, after a weekend of crazy feelings, insane emotions, and even anger and rage, because I felt like I was desperate for the feelings to go away.  So, on Monday the 25th I had not one but 2 ultrasounds done… I was expecting a my results by Wed. But because of Thanksgiving I did not get the results until I went in for the biopsy on Monday Dec.2.

So, today Dec 4th, I lay before God the fears, the disappointments, the anger, the rage, and all the stuff that for over 30 years has been all part of this thing… I literally think (or have thought) in this 1 area of my life God You made some HUGE colossal mistake and it has pretty much followed me all my life. Yet, As I learned on Sunday

New Living Translation (NLT)
Psalm 138
A psalm of David.
1 I give you thanks, O Lord, with all my heart; I will sing your praises before the gods.
2 I bow before your holy Temple as I worship. I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness;
for your promises are backed by all the honor of your name.
3 As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength.
4 Every king in all the earth will thank you, Lord, for all of them will hear your words.
5 Yes, they will sing about the Lord’s ways, for the glory of the Lord is very great.
6 Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud.
7 Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will protect me from the anger of my enemies.
You reach out your hand, and the power of your right hand saves me.
8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.

Look at verse 2 again…. YOUR promises are backed by ALL the honor of YOUR name…

Now, lets look at the verse I found this morning..

2 Corinthians 1:20
20 For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory.

So, if God promised me health than why am I so worried about this? Well, here is why. Because despite my knowing that when I have confessed the past to my Savior, I live with my memories, and the enemy who is out there seeking to peg those he can off with the weapons that he gets to choose.

Today, for me it is important to keep focused on this one thing… HIS promises are backed by HIS honor, and when HE says YES they are fulfilled…

What an amazing revelation this is to me today.. HE said YES to me…. What should I fear? Why should I fear? Even if the yes isn’t the yes that I want but lets look at the worse case scenario… IF I should die guess what? I am transported right to the throne room of worship. I will be whole, I will be fully redeemed, I will be with my Savior singing “HOLY HOLY HOLY” and that is worse case. Best case I still will be in the throne room.

This has been an emotional 2 weeks for me. But God has walked beside me every step of the way. He was there at the beginning of this and He will see the completion of this as well.

God is so faithful to us… Thanking God for the blessings He provides… (and am thankful for His promises which are fully backed by His name)..

AS AN UPDATE: I am sorry I just realized that I did not post that the biopsy results. The biopsy reports came back negative though they will have to be repeated in 3 months… SO, I thank you for your prayers.

About leftnfree

I am a flawed Christian who loves Jesus more than anything. Originally from the east coast of the US (Philadelphia, Pa). Currently living in Az. I am a single female who has no children. I do have a bunch of nieces and nephews. I do love to dance, swim, sing, travel, and play. I love dogs and am allergic to cats an sulfa. I don't drink or do street drugs or abuse prescription drugs. I love the USA and am ashamed of some of the folks that are running the show in DC (both parties). Personally, I don't think that our founding fathers intended for the service of our members of congress was supposed to be a life long job. I think that they meant for it to be short term. I love all kinds of movies but classics are becoming my favorite more and more. I do not like much of what is on television today because the world of make believe "reality tv" is unreal, and the rest well I just don't like the animation programs either. I love Jesus and try to serve Him with all I am becoming more an more like Him daily. I may stumble and I may make a mistake but I can always count on the loving arms of my Jesus and my Heavenly Father to come pick me up again and help me stand. I am not afraid of trying or failing but I am afraid of bragging and doing it on my own. I try to love all people and help all people (sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't). But even in that God is my all an all. That is who I am. Nothing more and nothing less. What you see is what you get. Like I said at the beginning I am flawed. I am human, and while I am not sinless I am able to sin less and help others to learn how to sin less. God is good. I hope that you enjoy reading the things that I write.
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6 Responses to I will trust in You alone for You have never failed me before.

  1. Pingback: Give Thanks To God | Stepping Toes

  2. bernicium says:

    Have you considered buying a book on spiritual warfare? It could be that you are struggling with demonic accusation. Freedom can be found. I promise. I myself have had a very painful and very long battle, I’m still fighting, some days I barely get through because the accusations are so loud, but I’d say I’ve found a lot of freedom that I didn’t have before. I’ve even been able to discern a few times when I was latched onto and being accused and tormented, and then was successful in commanding it to leave.

    I believe that there is such a thing as chemical imbalances, but there are also demons that mock and accuse. I think I’ve heard that this book below is very Biblically sound. I’ve never read it, but I’ve seen the reviews.

    I recommend this book because I know what it is like to try to just repeat the same verses over and over again, but they act more like bandaids that only momentarily handle the problem, and aren’t exactly alcohol that disinfects. (I hope my analogy makes sense.)

    I pray that the Lord will help heal you and help you find freedom, and then use you to bring advice and relief to the next person that needs to be helped.


    • leftnfree says:

      While I have been through Spiritual Warfare healing in the past and also Thecophostic Prayer Ministry and Immanuel Prayer Ministry I will check this out. For me sometimes, I tend to expect that the enemy will never attack me in the ways that he has. I must remember that as Jesus was attacked so will I be. And when he surprises me with going after things that I knew/know to be forgiven and forgotten.

      Thank you for responding. I will check this book out though.

  3. Very thoughtful, and beautiful. Will be praying for your needs.

    • leftnfree says:

      Thank you. As an FYI and update my biopsy results were negative. Although God and I are working the other parts out the insanity of all this has begun to be lifted from me. I trust in the Lord and will continue to trust in the Him who has begun a good work in me. My life and the shambles I made of it He continues to daily transform. Thank you for your prayers though. I will cherish them.

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