My Bearsy came to me on Christmas eve 2001 just 8 months after I lost my Whiskers. I did not get to say good-bye to Whiskers as I was in the hospital. Whiskers was a dachshund and she was solid black. She came to me abused but I had her for close to 19 years. She moved with me cross-country (from North Carolina to Arizona). I was in the hospital having my knee replaced when she died. But right from the start everyone was trying to pawn off a dog to me. From my neighbor and her son, my brother(s) and everyone else who knew me here in AZ. I turned all of them down! Oh I would take them for a day or 2 but… No, they were not what I wanted. I had fallen in love with the dachshund and that is what I wanted.
Well, God had better ideas I guess. So off we went to Montrose Co for Christmas. We went to my sisters. I had no clue whatsoever that I would be coming back with another handed off dog. But well in a nut shell that is what happened. It was about 9pm and we were sitting around admiring the lights on the Christmas tree when all of a sudden my sister tells me to close my eyes and open my hands. I do and here is this little dog obviously scared and extremely shaking gets shoved into my hands. I look with a bewildered face at the even more bewildered and scared face looking back at me with these huge eyes and before I can say anything my sister blurts “there are no strings attached but if you do not take her they will put her to sleep because she is deformed (she was missing her tail). My thought was yeah no strings my foot. So, I said I will think about it and go from there. I went out to smoke a cigarette and off to bed I went the dog in tow. The dog slept on the floor that night and we were awakened early by my nephew on Christmas morning. So, I went to enjoy opening presents and then went back to bed. Well this time the dog (Bearsy) got up in bed with me and she barked several hours later when someone knocked on the door for me to get up. So, she had adopted me. I kept thinking how wrong it was to do something like this to me when they knew what I wanted. In the remaining week Bearsy and I got along ok except she ate every cigarette butt I would throw down. She ate rocks, she ate everything. And she licked and licked and licked till you were dripping wet. We left Colorado and then the painful journey of coming home to AZ began. Bearsy whined all the way home out of fear. She shook, she cried, she whined, she yelped and nothing I did mattered. Now, she was extremely abused and had been kicked, thrown, and a lot worse. She was also a very stubborn dog. She would not potty if not on grass (and she would save it till you took her to the grass.).
SO, home to AZ we are. Bearsy learned (it took a few years) to get her to realize we would not leave her or harm her in any way. She was a dumb dog (and I mean she had a routine to do things and if you changed her routine in any way she would become skittish and she would become panicked really quickly. But she was a wonderful dog as well. She was also a very protective dog. If I were in my room she would let NO one enter (not even my mom who was the one who would spoil her the most.) she would not go potty with anyone but me or do a lot if it was not with me. If I was not home you could not tell she was there. Even if the door rang (although when I was in the hospital and my mom would be here I am told she would respond to the door bell for my mom.). She was a really special dog. All my life I had dogs and yet they were always family pets but Bearsy well she was mine.
When I say Bearsy was dumb I don’t mean it in the sense of dumb and stupid but she was not the smart Dachshund that I had come before. HOWEVER, I will tell you in the brief 9 years that I had my Bearsy I would now not trade her for anything in the world. I wish that she was still alive because I miss sharing my bed with her, and having her little body grow to become nearly 5 foot when she would sleep sideways on the queen size bed and leaving me with just enough room to move a bit.
Bearsy had health issues that we were not aware of and although I don’t know all the details I do believe based on what the vet told me she had COPD (which is what they tried to tell me that I had). And so Bearsy the licking hot tongued dog who would lick you till you were wet trying to heal you.
Bearsy died on March 8, 2010 in my arms and in my bed after suffering a seizure on Feb.15th that she really never fully recovered from. Despite taking her to the vet she would not survive this latest round of stuff against her. I can only tell you that she did not die as she was born. She was loved beyond all the odds. I grew up with dogs all my life and not once had a dog truly stole my heart like this little dog that no one wanted.
Once she died I began to wonder does God allow dogs in heaven? I became angry when I 1st read about the dogs in the Bible. They were considered less than dirt. Yet I do truly believe that Bearsy and I will meet again in heaven. Right now she is free to run, and roam and play for the 1st time in her life because she was so severely harmed she would not play or do much because of the fear. Dogs are like people when we are wounded we are wounded and it takes a long time to get over.
In the years that I had my Bearsy I can tell she over came a great many things including the not wanting to be in a car. Her very last thoughts were when I looked at her and said to her “are you ready to go for a bye-bye ride?” And she looked up at me and gave me a kiss and then laid in my hand and died. See what she did not know was that I was going to take her to the vet and have her put down for humane reasons (she had stopped eating for over 3 weeks and about a week earlier had stopped drinking which was a sign that it was time) but the only times she was even close to acting normal was when ever we got the car keys and she was in the car going for a ride. So, I knew the time had come but I also knew that it would be the hardest thing in my life for me to do. Yet, she did die in my home and surrounded by those who loved her.
I don’t know why I am writing this now other than to say that God has begun to heal me in this area as well. I am still far from wanting another dog but I am able to some days not cry.